Mysteries of the Supply Cabinet

Bad day at work? Didn’t get that raise you wanted? Have no fear, the supply cabinet can help you end it all:

Yes, very puzzling, isn’t it? Why would a small regional telecommunications company have rope on the shelf below the pens and pencils?!! All we can come up with is, well, trimming staff levels through providing alternatives…

“I can’t bear to look… No one’s about to use the rope, are they?”

For any of my coworkers who are considering the rope as a viable alternative to continued employement here, let me offer these wise words from Dorothy Parker (who I just learned yesterday was a knitter!):Résumé

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

28 thoughts on “Mysteries of the Supply Cabinet”

  1. I’m a longtime Dorothy Parker fan, m’self.

    I don’t think we have rope here at Three Stooges Capital, but I’ll bet we’ve got some of that Goo Gone. I’m sure something fatal could be concocted with that.

  2. Deb – You can email me if you have a question about which company. Or… you can just go check your supply cabinet! 😉

    Pink Rocket – Um, maybe the snowman mug is for drinking the Goo Gone if you decide not to use the rope?! It’s all very mysterious.

  3. I will reveal tomorrow that I am feeling very blue lately. In teh down in the dumps blue. So to match my mood I went to blue. It probably won’t last, I am too green to ever stay away from it too long.

  4. Well, I suppose you could take some large knitting needles to work and provide destressing knitting lessons. Or you could wind the rope round a pole and make a scratching post? I’m intrigued by Goo Gone and I’m just trying to think what sorts of goo a telecommunications company could come up with. Maybe the goo is contained within the snowman mug?

    I agree with Mama_Tulip: that is the best photo of Chaos yet! When do you think she’ll give in and get a cat?

  5. Heh ;o) You don’t want to know what is in our office supply cabinet(s) — but it might make more sense if I told you we are building a new office/house for our system-admin and there is an ‘office goat’ (a real one) on the premises as well!

    I’ll have to find you the ‘lost and found’ poetry J showed me once, have you seen that? I think it was a geeky company.

    Speaking of geeky companies… **trudge/code/trudge**

  6. Heh, heh. The things you find in supply closets. I once had an administrative temp quit because we asked her to reorganize our supply closet … she found that demeaning.

  7. I do relish Dorothy Parker’s sensibility. So no more pondering the possibilities of the supply cabinet. Step away from the chemicals and the rope…

    Thanks for the link to yarnstorm, it’s a great post.

  8. Quick! Get out while you can! They’re going to tie you to your chair! LOL. I would have to question someone about that. You deserve answers damn it.

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