O is for…

Hold that thought for a minute, because first – Lisa of Black Sheep is having a contest: if you pledge in support of her son Brett’s MS 150 bike ride, you’ll be entered in a drawing for something fun.

Some of you might remember that I skipped O in the ABC-Along and I’ve fallen terribly behind – I should be on R, but I haven’t done Q (or O) yet. So, let me present…

O is for Oddity. This ever-so-Odd “knitting machine” is something I found at the thrift store a few years ago and was forced to buy – I sure couldn’t resist the hyperbole:

The KNITTING MACHINE: Knitting! Made fast, easy & beautiful! No knitting experience needed! Knit GRANNY CIRCLES in seconds! Create afghans, pillows, purses and shawls incredibly fast! Patterns for 24 projects included! As seen on TV! Full 1 year warranty!

Wow! Of course, if using this machine means that my living room is going to look like the one pictured on the box and booklet……. Chaos seems pretty skeptical, doesn’t he? (I highly recommend clicking on these pictures to get the full effect from the larger versions.)

“I think you’ve reached a new low here, Mom…”

“Yikes!”

Hmm, you can see why he was startled, can’t you?! Here’s the machine (made of lovely and sturdy plastic), the project booklet, and a somewhat alarming looking project that the previous owner left in the box. After consulting the booklet, I believe that’s “Peter Pinworm” – I’ll wait while you wipe coffee and Cap’n Crunch off your monitors…

Here’s a page from the booklet, explaining how to knit a “puff” (aka a “knitted granny square,” albeit not square). I’ve always wondered if I could use this thing for making the ever-do-tedious felted bag handles, but based on the warnings, I would have to be very careful with worsted weight yarn… unless it was Orlon. Ewww! I don’t think they make Orlon yarn anymore, do they?! And that’s a good thing…

50 thoughts on “O is for…”

  1. Peter Pinworm is quite disturbing so I can fully understand Chaos’ reaction. But I have to admit that I’m fascinated with the striping…
    (I HAVE, on occasion, been accused of having a dirty mind)

  2. poor Chaos, your mommy has lost her mind!
    don’t let her make anything with the wonder machine or you may have to model it.

  3. I’ve got it.. you can make Chaos a set of fancy legwarmers with the machine! I’m just kidding.. Chaos would really hate me for that. I would have bought the thing too.. it looks like an older version of the ‘wonder knitter’ that is in stores now.
    (ps. we’re supposed to be on R? dang.. I think I’m still back on M!!)

  4. So funny! I had one of those–it was plastic and was marketed towards children. It was so facinating to watch grab the yarn and see it create tubes. Would you believe I just flashed back to my first pair of knitted socks!! I remember I made a tube, tied off the end, and ran elastic through the top. Wow! Thanks for the memory!

  5. ROFLMAO
    oh my, Chris, you have totally outdone yourself with this purchase! I’d keep it in the box as a shelf ornament – just to make you laugh on a rainy day 🙂

  6. Ha, have fun with your knitting machine. Hopefully it’s possible to make something nice with that thing.
    HEY I’m having a contest for the first time ever. COME ON OVER.

  7. Peter Pinworm reminds me of my visit to Carnaby Street in London in the 80s. Shops carried these things called “Willy Warmers” in red, white (not pink), and blue, some with Union Jack patterns knitted in. They came in three sizes – small, medium, and “liar.”

  8. Peter Pinworm, huh? I could make a nasty comment about my ex-husband…but no. Heh.

    That is HILARIOUS! I love the cheesy 70’s box too. Hey, all you need is some Phentex, and you’re ready to go. Dude. SO. COOL.

  9. Orlon?! That’s a name I haven’t heard in a while! LOVE the knitting machine. I saw a similar one at Michael’s for kids and I thought about how cheesey the picture will look in 15-20 yrs (Girl excited about knitting a furry scarf in hot pink).

  10. orlon is just acrylic. that’s all. THAT’S ALL?!!!! i know that’s what you are thinking.

    and don’t hold it against me — no really keep that thing away from me (just kidding) — but i want one of those. or a kid one. but for cheap. see, i’ve been trying to teach my twin nieces how to knit. one of them i think it can happen, but she’s too much of a perfectionist right now and can’t work through the awkward early stages. but if i could get her one of those …. she could make tubes! and that would make her very happy i think. but to buy one new — they’re expensive especially if she ends up hating it.

  11. You must immediately go out and find acrylic yarn in harvest gold and avocado green and start knitting an aghan. Oh yes, and finish Peter Pinworm, too. (Pinworm??)

  12. Isn’t most of that “knitted” stuff crochet? Maybe not…but it’s ugly–not that I think crochet is ugly, but the stuff on that box is UGLY. :O)

  13. Hmm.. it looks like a potty with a birthday cake attachment. This bizarre thought may have come about because I spent the afternoon with a very pregnant friend.

  14. I want my living room to look like that…all flowery and weird.

    LOL. That cracks me up! My stepmother had a knitting machine and the thing was HAY-OOGE…I didn’t think they were small enough to fit in a box.

  15. You know, you can still get 100% Virgin Orlon (and it’s relatives) at the thrift shops. (100% Virgin Acrylic just boggles the mind. where pray tell do they get whatever it is acrylic is made from if it’s not labeled “Virgin”)

    Peter Pinworm frightens me.

  16. ROFL at mrspao! I was looking at something like that for weaving – it would be interesting just to see something like that in motion! Chaos seems interested mostly in the box, like most discerning kitties 😉

    p.s: you could make that ‘pinworm’ (ew) into a fish without too much trouble, and make catnip fishies for Chaos!

  17. Are you saying your lining room doesn’t look like that now! I can’t believe you have had the knitting machine for a few years and have a clutter free living room.

  18. Hi Chris- It looks alarmingly like something from the “Phentex” era.
    Remember those sock thingies- slippers?-what were they?
    Darned if I haven’t been looking for ages for that “Peter Pinworm” pattern.

    P.S. (NOT!)

  19. It’s not a Peter Pinworm (although the blue section appears to have an oddly shaped bulge in it), it’s a cat tail warmer. Chaos gets cold during the long Minnesota winters.

  20. I had a very similar knitting machine when I was a child! I churned out lots of VERY long, useless tubes. My dad helped me make one such tube into a very cute pink snail stuffed animal, then tried to talke me out of using the knitting machine.

  21. Hehe. I first read that as “Peter pinWARM,” so I thought to myself… Sure it ought to keep something warm anyway… oh goodness. Thanks for today’s giggles!

  22. Thanks for the reminder about Lisa’s son doing the MS ride. Poor Chaos–he probably thought he was in a time machine back to his ancestors in the early 70s long, long ago. Yikes.

  23. No – please do not stuff ‘Peter Pinworm’ with catnip for Chaos! It would give Chaos some sort of complex – and any visitors you might have would wonder about you….. (Oh – and I’ve been meaning to tell you that all of your comments on various mystery series have really caused my to-read list to grow. I love a series!)

  24. ROTFL!!! Peter the Pinworm, you know we are all going to want one. And who wouldn’t want a living room that looks like that. I can see you cranking out granny square circles to make your afghan. I’m surprised Chaos isn’t hiding somewhere.

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