Category Archives: Covers

Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 32nd (HOHG)

July 19, 2010 Chris 46 Comments

Welcome to another edition of the Misadventures in Stock Photography! Allow me to present Holding Onto Hat Guy (HOHG). HOHG is

who has always been

, both when saying

and when negotiating

for

. He believes it’s important to maintain his

, after all, no matter how much that goal is complicated by the stock he holds in the

– particularly in the infamous

fund, whose value always seems to be

. One night, HOHG decided to stop at the

Club, where he ran into an old friend to whom he owed a

… Let your imaginations run wild here, because this one about killed me. Dang. What do you think happened next?

(Make sure you read Tam’s comment – she found another cover and added it to the story!)

“No, I would not look cute in a cowboy hat. You’re just trying to keep me from noticing that there’s another naughty boy here!” -Mayhem

Covers

Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 31st (The Return of Torso Guy)

July 12, 2010 Chris 34 Comments

Welcome to another edition of the Misadventures in Stock Photography! Today we’re going to see what Torso Guy’s been up to since the last time he visited… (And please, keep alert so that you detect the photos in which the hand hooked into the top of his jeans has been removed!)

Torso Guy went on a

because he wanted to see

[I have no idea what this title was – if you ever figure out what productid 51 from Shadowfire Press was, let me know!]

again. While he was on his trip, he had a

in which someone was sucking on his

. (Y’all have dirty minds! Sheesh. What did you think was getting sucked?!?)

When he awoke, he realized that even though he’s so much

Larger Than Life [yet another cover now missing in action]

and, no matter what anyone says,

. After his dream of toe-riffic

, (Ouch! That’s nasty scar you picked up between photos, Torso Guy!)

he was ready to make a

(assuming he doesn’t shoot himself somewhere very tender, thus rendering his concerns of size completely moot), because

, folks!

“More naughty boys. I grow displeased, Mom.” -Mayhem

Covers

Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 30th (THHOG)

July 6, 2010 Chris 35 Comments

Congrats to Sandy Jay, who won the copy of Gay Friendly (G-A-Y, Book 9) by Kim Dare! (Don’t forget that Kim’s donating her royalties on this one to Ty Hafan Childrenâ€™s Hospice; you can purchase Gay Friendly at Total-E-Bound.)

Welcome to this week’s edition of the Misadventures, in which we’ll meet Tearing His Hair Out Guy (THHOG)!

were carried on

, hinting at a

because of

and

. But THHOG will not let that get him down! Although he’s not

, he knows that

he’ll be

with

Yes, yes, I can probably come up with abs for next week, for those of you going into Misadventures abs withdrawal. I hear the final stages of that are nasty.

“Another naughty boy?! Sheesh, Mom. Wake me when it’s over.” -Mayhem

Covers, Reading

Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 29th (Staring Contest Guys)

June 28, 2010 Chris 43 Comments

Welcome to another edition of the Misadventures in Stock Photography! Today we’ll meet the Staring Contest Guys.

were faced with a

during

about whether they should exact

against the

or whether they should deal with it

to man with “a bit of the old

“. (With apologies to A Clockwork Orange and those with delicate sensibilities for that last one…)

“…zzzzzzzzz…” -Mayhem

Alas, Mayhem could not be reached for a pithy quote about how naughty these boys were.

Covers, Reading

Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 28th (GtSHitAG)

June 21, 2010 Chris 47 Comments

Welcome to another edition of the Misadventures in Stock Photography. Let me introduce you to Going to Shoot Himself in the Ass Guy – shall we refer to him as GtSHitAG for simplicity’s sake? Many thanks to Katie Allen for inspiring the name – no, no, I’m pretty sure she’s never shot herself there, or anywhere, actually. But really, only Katie can clear that up for us. 🙂

Said GtSHitAG, “

in the power of

, won’t you please steal away with me to my

and be my

?”

The end. What, it’s shorter than you were expecting? Well, I was in a bit of a mood yesterday when I was writing this post, so really, it’s a minor miracle I managed this! 😀

“Is it safe to look yet?! I don’t want to see that boy shoot himself in the butt! That just sounds messy. And also naughty.” -Mayhem

Covers, Reading

Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 27th (Too Smooth Guy)

June 14, 2010 Chris 39 Comments

Welcome to another edition of the Misadventures in Stock Photography! Today, we’ll be following the misadventures of Too Smooth Guy, so named because he looks as if he’s made from plastic on many of these covers.

Too Smooth Guy set out

, charting his course by

and relying on

to keep him from going astray (or more astray at least). Indeed, he thought that he had

, but alas, it was actually a

, sweeping away

that was his only legacy. (Hi, Candy Cane Guy! Wow, you sure do get around…)

Too Smooth Guy refused to let his failure bring him down and vowed that he would

, no matter how many

were required. Unfortunately, he got a little sidetracked when he was captured,

, and compelled to participate in

in order to ensure his own

. (I’m going to pretend that the flaming guitar-playing skeleton is a figment of my imagination.)

It had been late

when he was captured; he was finally released after spending

a (*waves at YCMMSG*)

. Remember, boys and girls, that

goes unpunished and a little

will apparently get you distorted by the photoshop monsters!

“Mom, how many naughty boys are there?! Surely we have seen all of them by now?! Also, I haven’t forgiven you for not telling me there was still an inch of water in the tub yesterday until after I jumped in.” -Mayhem

Covers, Reading

Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 26th (Pouty Guy)

June 7, 2010 Chris 40 Comments

L. B. Gregg’s kicking off a contest today to welcome new m/m romance author Harper Fox – stop by LB’s blog, Nose in a Book, to read Josh Lanyon’s interview with Harper and say hi!

Welcome to another edition of the Misadventures in Stock Photography! Allow me to introduce you to Pouty Guy. Pouty Guy is

who is on a

with danger, due to his somewhat

behavior. (Hi, Slouching Open Black Jacket Guy! Just between us, that photoshopped mask and harness are so not a good look for you… And Pouty Guy? Whose legs are those? I know you’re wearing jeans in the original photo…)

Then Pouty Guy said, “You don’t have to

about

. It’s

and I feel

by a host of wicked desires to see this through to the

.”

Bye, Pouty Guy! Hope your tummy feels better soon. You don’t look very comfortable…

“Hmph. I’m the only one who gets to pout on this blog! Those naughty boys are going too far now!!” -Mayhem

Covers, Reading

Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 25th (Wind-in-Hair Guy)

June 1, 2010 Chris 40 Comments

Congrats to Ava March, who won the copy of Lights and Sirens by Stephani Hecht, which was released today!

Many thanks to author Clare London, who found at least a third of these covers! (If you keep an eye on the authors on these covers, you’ll figure out why she was so interested…)

Meet Wind-in-Hair Guy (WiHG), who was a victim of

, which left him with a bad case of

. Hearing rumors of a cure, Wind-in-Hair Guy tried

to see if her fabled

could save him. Instead, it consumed him with

, so he fled to the

, where he was forced to participate in numerous

and

in an attempt to quell his

. Then

, believing that

, there’s fire, tracked down Wind-in-Hair Guy and

him to make him

*blink blink* Yeah, I’m always surprised where these little stories end up, too.

“Yes, Mom, I see the black kitty. And I see the brown kitty. Why aren’t the kitties the focal point here?!? Hmph. Everyone like kitties better than they like naughty boys.” -Mayhem

Covers, Reading

Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 24th (Shy Guy)

May 24, 2010 Chris 38 Comments

Hello, everyone, and welcome to yet another edition of Misadventures in Stock Photography. Today you’ll be meeting Shy Guy. Awwww.

, and

were

(“mud” is not a good hair color for you, Shy Guy!), hoping that their plan of

from the

and his

weren’t just

. (Shy Guy, where did those bright yellow butterfly wings come from?!)

“Too late!” crowed the Prince of Servitude. “You’ll not take my freshly undead Trevor away from me now. Together,

will be

the

!” (Why would anyone airbrush out Shy Guy’s lovely abs?)

Alas,

, so Shy Guy gave up his quest, accepted that the

he carried were permanent, and commenced

as he enjoyed his lovely new invisible wings.

The end.

Whew!

“Oh, that poor shy boy, Mom! What a terrible ordeal!!” -Mayhem

Covers, Reading

Misadventures in Stock Photography: Part the 23rd (The Return of the Return of Candy Cane Guy)

May 17, 2010 Chris 31 Comments

Thanks to Eyre for pointing out that today is the International Day Against Homophobia, described on its website as “a rallying event offering an opportunity for people to get together and reach out to one another.” So be especially kind today, ok?

I’m sure you’ve all been worried about Candy Cane Guy, since I haven’t posted about him since the beginning of April! 😉 It will not surprise you to discover he’s been a busy, busy boy.